Thursday, October 28, 2010

Apocolypse Survival 101

So, if you are a man you have a zombie survival plan.
You do, don't lie!

But whats your plan for nuclear winter? or a Fallout kinda deal?
The reason i ask is because i just bought New Vegas (My review: Do you like Fallout 3? Yes? Then you'll like this) and have been wondering, how would i survive? Conditions are of course different for me as I live in Ireland and the Ireland i live in isn't within a video game, at least as far as i can tell.

If china ever decides to fuck shit up with Nato Ireland should get off without any actual nukes hitting us, but theres fallout to contend with. Lots of Ghouls and Super Mutants and no guns for me to kill em with.. hmm problem? Fuck yeah it is.

So Mission 1, get armed
Guns aren't the cereal box prizes they are in America so are pretty rare
Your best bet, a police station or hunting club
America is the same but also try hillbillys houses/gang members houses/cultist complexes /republicans houses/local library/public schools/retirement homes(for that retro look)/wall mart/shooting range/hospital/church/local supermarket/Toys R Us.. Etc Etc

Mission 2, Don't be a big dam hero
You'll die

Mission 3, Eat stuff skinny
Food and Water, you need a constant supply of it
Quickly, grab your gun and head on down to Tesco/Wall Mart
Grab yourself a trolley, grab all the canned beans and spaghetti you can find as well as bottles of water and BIG buckets
If someone comes running at you, shoot first, regret later

Mission 4, RUN!!
Get the fuck out off the big city, grab a van and head to the mountains or someshit
Find an easily defended position and wait till you run out of beans
This is particularly important when dealing with Zombies for they can't climb or walk very fast
Avoiding crowds of them increases your chances to survive from Red Shirt to Captain Kirk

Mission 5
Sit back and relax, wait for some form of normality to return then head on back to the city you so cruelly raped

Now, feel free to troll the shit out of this
And I'll make Survival 102 with your suggestions


  1. Haha, great tips. Well at least I'll be prepared now!

  2. I feel like I have better chance at making it in a post-zombie-apocolypse world. Thanks!

  3. this is awesome, now I know what to do when the zombies come!

  4. haha now i am prepared when the zombies come !!

  5. saved incase of zombie invasion.

  6. Nice now we have a plan not for if it happens but for when it happens.

  7. prepped for the invasion thanks! !

  8. Everntually everyone will die.

  9. wow great, I guess I should start preparing.