Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Fucking With Mormons

I was looking through my old word files and found something I did a while ago
Trolled some mormons, trolled em good
Here's the transcript with minor edits
Also I told them my name was Amanda Huginkiss


Welcome to Mormon.org chat.
A representative will be with you shortly.

Please continue to hold for the next available agent.

We apologize for the delay.
You may continue to hold or email us at missionaries@mormon.org
Agent [Heidi] is ready to assist you.
Me: Hello
Agent [Jackie] has joined the chat.
Heidi: Hello
Heidi: This is Heidi and Jackie
Heidi: We are missionaries for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
Me: What is the mormon held view on evolution?
Heidi: What brings you to Mormon.org?
Me: I just asked
Jackie: we believe in the creation, that man was created in the image of God.
Jackie: however, that does not mean that we don't support the study of science. we believe that as humans we have the ability to evolve in the sense that we are always progressing.
Me: What about women, who were they created in the image of then?
Me: I was raised religiously, but my parents arent all that knowledgeable
Jackie: we believe that women too were created in the image of God. God created men and women to help each other.
Jackie: do you get a chance to study the bible pretty often?
Me: But if they are created in the image of God too, does that mean God is in fact, half man, half woman, some omnipotent hermaphrodite as it were? or is God in fact a selection of entities, collectively known as God
Heidi: Adam was created in the image of God
Heidi: We believe Eve was created as spoken of in the Bible, a help mate
Me: So women are simply tools to be used by man?
Heidi: No, not at all
Heidi: Men and women were created equal in the sight of God
Heidi: Amanda what faith do you practice?
Me: Simply a follower of Christ, no specific denomination
Me: Im trying to learn more about different demoninations
Me: Whats the mormon view of marriage?
Jackie: so you have been able to gain truth out of reading the bible, correct?
Me: The bible seems contradictory
Me: In the old testament God kills many people, in the new testament Jesus claims he would never harm anyone, ever
Me: I have gained only questions
Heidi: Have you brought your questions to God?
Heidi: Amanda I have found that the best way to find out is to place your faith in God
Me: He's never spoken back, well not often, usually he only tells me football results
Me: That may be the radio though
Me: So
Heidi: Amanda something we can do is we can have those missionaries come and teach you about prayer.
Me: Marriage
Heidi: would you like that
Me: No, im fine on that front
Me: Also, i doubt you have missionaries where i live
Jackie: where do you live?
Jackie: we have over 50,000 missionaries worldwide who all volunteer to share this message of hope and happiness.
Me: I live in Ireland
Heidi: They are over there.
Me: Really?
Heidi: There are missionaries like us who devout 18 months of our life doing this service
Me: But can we get back on topic
Heidi: And they are able to come and share with you more about the Book of Mormon.
Heidi: Would you like that?
Me: Not yet
Me: need more info
Heidi: Perfect then we can call you and be able to explain you more?
Me: No
Me: This is fine
Me: Just basic information
Me: I want to know what seperates you from other churches?
Me: Like marriage, ive heard you're different
Jackie: although we are here to answer questions, we know you can receive the answers to these questions by learning more through the Book of Mormon and the missionaries there in Ireland.
Jackie: feel free to browse the website and learn more.
Me: How do i meet with these missionaries
Jackie: well, if we can get your number and address--we can send your info to our colleagues, missionaries like us, there in Ireland who can contact you and find time to visit and share more with you.
Me: okay
Me: (I gave them the address and phone number of a local Dominoes Pizza)
Jackie: okay, perfect. and something heidi and i can do is call you to make sure they were able to visit you and share more. we can then teach you more until those local missionaries get there!
Jackie: is that okay?
Me: Ehm
Me: Okay

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